Top 5 office misconducts

Author: Kasper B. Graversen, 22/07/08
Keywords: Fun
Abstract: Good behaviour isn't what it used to be. This post defines 5 rules of office misconduct. Create a better office atmosphere today by following these guidelines of misconduct. Print them out and hang them on your office walls to share!
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Top 5 office misconducts

I really liked John Rockefeller's Top 5 Office Dont’s. We live in a knife-stabbing society where the only rule about manners is that there are no rules! Create a better office atmosphere. Follow these guidelines and post them on your office walls.
"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words. When I was a boy, we were taught to be discrete and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise and impatient of restraint."
– Hesiod, "the father of Greek didactic poetry", 700 BC

1. Think your farts are silent and odorless

Personally, I've seen 7 men jump for what seemed to be for their life. I was as shocked about this sudden move of body masses as the "innocent guy" glearing with scary/guilty eyes as half a row of programmers hastely abandoned their posts. Just don't do it unless you want to risk being named "fart-boy" for the rest of your days at the company.

2. Talk private on the phone

So you have a life outside the office?? You're not that lonely geek everyone mistake you for? I really hate when people sit and yap all day in their phones. Did you ever realize how loud you are on the phone. Especially when you have problems hearing the person at the other end. When your phone rings, please have the courtesy to get the hell out of the office!!!

3. Pick your nose

An interesting trait of the human anatomy is how unintelligent you look with a finger situated up your nose. Say good bye to any charisma you've built up amongst your fellow office mates, it all disappears as gold dust in a storm as soon as you start digging for gold. This applies for when sitting in your car as well!

4. Be the source of smell

Don't eat smelly food. And don't forget to take a shower. Ever. Irregardless if it is you or it's the stuff you bring to your desk that smells, people won't like it.

5. Fu**ing swear!!

Swearing has unfortunately become a natural part of how we talk. Thanks to American movies, we now all feel compelled to say F*ck at least twice in each sentence. Take this ex-Labour MP hurling abuse at hotel staff http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=202960 that doesn't really give a good impression of her or her party! Too bad YouTube decided to remove the video. It really was mesmerizing! If you really must swear, get it out of your system, just remember to quickly follow up with a "pardon my French"!



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